A Note on Boundaries — To Accompany This Vlog
Healthy boundaries are the foundation of respectful, connected relationships.
Why Boundaries Matter
Setting boundaries is how you teach others to love and respect the real you. Without them, you risk losing yourself trying to meet everyone else's expectations, needs, or moods. Boundaries protect your mental and emotional resources — and in doing so, they allow your relationships to thrive in a space of mutual respect.
A Simple Metaphor
From an early age, we’re taught to guard our physical possessions:
- We put fences around our homes
- Lock our windows and doors
- Install alarm systems
- Buy insurance for valuable assets
But when it comes to our emotional assets — our time, energy, peace of mind, self-esteem, and most importantly, our heart — we receive very little guidance. As a result, we may let people drain our energy, cross our boundaries, increase our stress, or even damage our self-worth.
The Key Boundaries to Protect
Our three most valuable emotional resources are:
- Time – You only get a finite amount; spend it wisely.
- Self-Esteem – The engine behind your self-care, compassion, and confidence.
- Emotional Wellbeing – Your moment-to-moment connection to peace, joy, and clarity.
Creating and maintaining boundaries around these areas doesn’t push people away — it actually improves the quality of your connections and your life.
Strategies for Setting Healthy Boundaries
- Say no — it’s your life.
- Don’t act from guilt or obligation. Do it because you choose to.
- Recognise that someone else’s mood or criticism says more about them than about you.
- Stop trying to “fix” others — you can’t, and trying to robs them of the chance to grow.
- Don’t allow emotional dumping — you’re not a sponge.
- Refuse to engage with meanness or disrespect.
- Don’t feel pressured to justify your position — you’re allowed to hold your own views.
And remember:
You are not an all-you-can-eat buffet. You’re a curated menu — you choose what’s on offer and when.
Your emotional energy is like a Wi-Fi signal — not everyone gets the password. You decide who gets full access, limited access, or none at all. Think of your energy like money in a bank — you wouldn’t let just anyone withdraw from your account. Boundaries are your PIN code, your withdrawal limit, and your fraud alert!
